Runner Buddies are Awesome!

The Lone Runner

Running is typically thought of as a solitary endeavor but we are here to tell you that having a Runner Buddy is awesome! They get us out on dark, cold, rainy days; they push our pace or slow us when we need to hold back; they hold us accountable when the couch or bed is calling; they make many miles easier.

Plus, you finally have someone who won’t glaze over when you talk about runner stuff.
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To have a great, lasting runner-buddy relationship, it’s a good idea to set some expectations and guidelines. We thought we’d give you a list of runner-buddy etiquette tips we’ve learned over the years. Please add your own thoughts in the comments!

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Training

1. Set a schedule to help you stay consistent and avoid confusion. If you say you’ll run every Wednesday at 5 AM and meet up for the Sunday long slow distance run, your expectations are set, the time is blocked off, and knowing the other person is waiting will motivate you to stay on schedule. Once the schedule is set, stick to it, as best you can. Which leads us to…
2. Establish back-out parameters. Life happens, of course. While any runner buddy will understand that an emergency trumps everything, you may want to establish a cancellation policy for everything else. How much notice do you have to give? Is there a penalty (who buys the post-run coffee next time)?
3. Stick to the plan. When you agree to do an “easy six,” know what that means: 8-minute miles? 10-minute miles? Know before you begin, then stick to it. Unless…
4. You’re OK with not. It really depends on the relationship you’ve established. If one of you is feeling her oats today and the other isn’t, do you ditch the plan and run separately? Or are you a together-come-what-may duo? As long as you both agree, it’s easier to avoid resentment.
5. Have the headphone talk. Some runners choose to buddy up for the social benefits, so if you’re a devoted headphone runner, be sure your buddy is OK with that.
6. Some details you may establish as you go:

• Headlamp. Be careful not to shine it in your buddy’s face. When you turn to talk, shade your lamp or look down or to the side.
• Proximity. It’s not spooning, folks. Give your runner buddy ample space to run and shift side to side to avoid cracks in the sidewalk, etc.
• Snot rockets. I’ll just let you figure this out on your own. But do figure it out.
• Stopping. If you just have to pet every golden retriever that happens along, make sure it’s OK and set a time limit.
• Oncoming traffic. Crowded sidewalks and trails are a pain, and bumping into other folks isn’t great citizenship or runner PR. Decide who goes first when you single-file it, or call it.
  

7. Post-run plans. Are you going for coffee or is everyone going their own way immediately? Not only can knowing this avoid hurt feelings, but not everyone carries cash or credit cards unless they know they’ll need ‘em. 

Race Day

You’ve made it to the starting line! If you’ve been training together for a particular event, you definitely want to have a conversation about race day expectations. Be sure you know…

1. Are you traveling to and/or from the race together? Do the backwards runner math: if the race starts at X, and you want to be there no later than X-30, what time should you meet? Guaranteed one of you will be more nervous than the other about packet pickup, parking, porta-potty lines, gear check, etc., so to save burning calories on frustration and fretting, get this all worked out to everyone’s comfort in advance. Determine a meeting place for after.
2. Are you running the race together? Unless you truly do run at the same pace even on race day, one of you is likely to be faster than the other. Will you stick together and run at the slower pace, or is this a “see you at the finish line” arrangement?
3. What’s the safe word? If you planned to run together, but that’s just not working for you today, it’s helpful to be able to give the other runner “permission” to leave you behind, no hurt feelings.  
4. What are our post-race plans? Will you linger at the beer tent or hop in the car and head home (after your cool down and stretch, of course)? Will you stop for lunch on the way? These plans can change depending on the day, but having at least talked about them leaves the conversation open for negotiation.

A great runner buddy is a rare gift, so learn how to keep one, and more importantly, how to be one. Small annoyances can build into big resentments, so nip them in the bud by having frank conversations about expectations.
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If you have a runner buddy story to share, please do! We’d love to know what happened and how you worked it out (or didn’t). Let us learn from your experiences.